Work should be like a smooth poop

God, I love being lazy- planning my day to start in the afternoon. I turned off the snooze like five times this morning just to show the alarm clock its place. This my day off. I went out to breakfast with Iz at one, and we tracked down the only place in the east bay that serves lox and bagels and had some. I swear eating fish for breakfast makes you smarter for the entire day. I can actually think today, and after a week of burning the candle at both ends, that's quite impressive to me. Those norwegians know a thing or two. This is my three day weekend, I lucked out with scheduling at work, and I am floating on a cloud, (60% marijuana smoke) reading, recording some music, and listening to Bjork. Tommorrow I have wine tasting in Napa on the agenda, which cracks me up a bit because I have no money. But I do have a tailored blazer on a hanger in the closet, and a cute girl will be on my arm... Society, sometimes, is only about appearances.
Had a talk with Bella about work. We both currently hate our jobs (surprise, surprise!) If you are reading this today at work, Iz, my heart goes out to you. Rawk out with your... I mean, Shunt it with your... Rawk North Carolina with your... Shit, nevermind. Why do male body parts rhyme better than female body parts? You girls need to take charge. Put some diversity into the lexicon of dirty words. Besides all of the words for vagina- pussy, cunt, meaty curtains of meat, whatever, have all been designed by men. What up with that? Take some verbal-vaginal responsibility!
Now, the Iz and I both agreed that we should find jobs which aren't the daily equivalent of a long painful bowel movement. She wants to be, among other things, a writer. I, a musician. A nice, smooth poop. Nothing complex. No compromises.

So I am to write a letter to my boss today on behalf of my fellow employees. This should be interesting. If it turns out funny, I'll post it.